I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
