Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
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It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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