guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize