He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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