Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
birth control should be required to get into college
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
