I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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