Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize