I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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