I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
