I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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