from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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