It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
