I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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