Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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