We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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