Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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