dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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