Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I need to sanitize my soul.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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