Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
