sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.