My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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