also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
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It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
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Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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