Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Randomize
