Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
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