just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
