This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
