I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
