In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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