Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize