just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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