I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.