i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
do herpes really smell.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.