Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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