used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
My butt remains clenched, sir.