Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.