Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.

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  (516): Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city. http://tfl.nu/k96c
  Replies (14) Good night (1236) Bad night (555)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?

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  (225): he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel? http://tfl.nu/f7r7
  Replies (40) Good night (1129) Bad night (3245)
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss

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  (616): who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss http://tfl.nu/d23g
  Replies (43) Good night (9355) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?

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  (859): Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night? http://tfl.nu/rh55
  Replies (8) Good night (3157) Bad night (778)
• Favorite

  (757): View more from Virginia

  It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.

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  (757): It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean. http://tfl.nu/z8cg
  Replies (22) Good night (661) Bad night (4574)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.

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  (715): apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night. http://tfl.nu/2r4z
  Replies (6) Good night (4263) Bad night (797)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.

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  (651): I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old. http://tfl.nu/njv7
  Replies (13) Good night (5439) Bad night (1852)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.

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  (920): You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day. http://tfl.nu/y8lp
  Replies (10) Good night (2762) Bad night (789)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.

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  (419): Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit. http://tfl.nu/7cu4
  Replies (13) Good night (2151) Bad night (603)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen

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  (630): wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen http://tfl.nu/89g2
  Replies (6) Good night (1786) Bad night (537)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.

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  (608): they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball. http://tfl.nu/n9al
  Replies (4) Good night (1270) Bad night (1133)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.

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  (410): Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop. http://tfl.nu/b326
  Replies (18) Good night (612) Bad night (1390)
• Favorite

  (858): View more from California

  He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him

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  (858): He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him http://tfl.nu/yvui
  Replies (12) Good night (2244) Bad night (620)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.

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  (312): I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos. http://tfl.nu/0zir
  Replies (3) Good night (940) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.

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  (940): Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me. http://tfl.nu/f1j1
  Replies (2) Good night (618) Bad night (242)

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