just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
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