I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
23 Proposal Horror Stories You Won’t Believe
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.