Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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