oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
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i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
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He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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