he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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