Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
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