You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
You're earring is so big in my mouth
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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