I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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