Me. At least after what I've been through.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Randomize
