yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
