There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
