i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
