the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Is it because I queefed?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
