i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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