Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I love you.
Bad choice
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
