wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
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