RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
