So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Randomize