Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
