last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
