He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
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