i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
