I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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