So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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