Tell her she can't have a vagina
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
