Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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