Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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